“Like a ticking time bomb, I’m about to explode. Motherfuckers, let’s go!” The opening track of Love Sux is something of a statement from Lavigne, who has returned with her best and most punky pop album in years, complete with appearances from current pop-punk darling Machine Gun Kelly, and pop-punk forefather Mark Hoppus; the Blink-182 stars guest appearance elevates “All I Wanted” to best track on the album.

But what could Lavigne have to explode about? Maybe its the fact that she is a clone who is still forced to pretend to be someone else.

Okay, I know that sounds crazy. I discovered a few months back that there is an elaborate conspiracy theory that Avril Lavigne was replaced by a body double in 2003 after dying in the wake of her debut album. In order to make more money from the star, the record company brought in a body double named Melissa to take over. Lavigne has actually been Mel ever since.

Evidence? Try the fact that the singer was seen buying cheese at a time when she supposedly had Lyme disease. Or the time she did a photo shoot with ‘Melissa’ written on her hand. Or the subliminal messaging on her single “My Happy Ending”.

It doesn’t account for the fact that she switched record labels before this most recent album. Maybe this is the real Lavigne and she didn’t die but was just sidelined so that Melissa could make pop music?! I think I cracked it.

CLTM (Chris Listens To Music) is my attempt to listen to a new album every day; you can follow my efforts on Instagram here (and send recommendations), and if you like what I’m doing, support my efforts by shouting me a cuppa at Buy Me A Coffee.